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Sonnets and Shared Poetry

December 14, 2013

I apologize for not posting recently. College always seems to get in the way of blogging. I am currently taking a course on the early works of Shakespeare, and that got me interested in sonnets. Shakespeare wrote at least 154 sonnets (not counting those imbedded in his plays), each titled simply with a number. His style of sonnet is different than the prior Italian or Petrarchan sonnets in terms of rhyme scheme. (Learn more about the Petrarchan and Shakespearean styles here).

One interesting thing I learned in this class was that Shakespeare and his contemporaries used to pass around sonnets amongst themselves to share their ideas and see how others reacted to their poetry. In the same spirit, a friend and I each wrote a sonnet and exchanged them. We then critiqued each other’s work for both content and style in an attempt to improve them. My revised sonnet is below.

Cruel Love has made of me an enemy.
She mocks with smiles, delights in causing pain.
She knows I want her, sorrow gives her glee.
I give my heart, and yet she has me slain.
Now Mother Night takes me into her womb;
I hide in there, my face with growing shame
Obscured from light in blessèd Night’s sweet gloom.
I scowl on others, but I am to blame.
I pray that Time will save for me that Love.
I’ll waste away before I’ll have my chance,
And never will I catch my mourning dove
Unless I’m pushed out into life’s warm dance.
     And even though Love forces me away,
     I’ll fight on still ‘cause I am here to stay.

One suggestion that I did not incorporate yet is to tie Time back into the last line. I attempted this by modifying the line to “I’ll fight with Time ‘cause I am here to stay” but the change didn’t seem quite right. What do you think? I am always open to feedback and potential improvements. I have also begun a few other sonnets, but I have not finished any of those yet. Let me know if you would like to read them.

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One Comment
  1. Natasha permalink

    The last line doesn’t seem to fit with the rest as far as word choice. It seems more like present day diction and the rest of the sonnet sounds more like something from Shakespeare’s time. Is there a different way you could word it and still get your point across?

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